Breastfeeding and Dealing With Feeling Touched Out

Our breastfeeding relationship is still going strong at almost 14 months. Problem is, I’m feeling touched out. I’ve been feeling touched out for about a month now and it’s not going away really. Some sessions it is worse than others. I don’t think it’s getting worse though … for now.

What is Touched Out?

Feeling touched out is when someone has been touched a lot and they are not welcoming the touches anymore. A lot of moms (breastfeeding or not) can experience this after a day full of children pulling and tugging on them. It’s often why I don’t feel like being intimate with husband even though I want to be close to him.. I just don’t want anyone else to touch me for the rest of the day.

How Does it Affect Me?

It’s definitely a sensory thing and I’ve been surprised by the strong feelings it can invoke. Sometimes I just have to put my daughter down because I need her to get off of me. I have no personal space since giving birth and some days I want it back.

From what I understand, feeling touched out is completely normal and varies from person to person. Some touching that never used to bother me now makes me want to climb walls. It’s weird and turns on my mommy guilt.

The worst of it is when Rissa is dozing off while nursing. She wants to grope around with one hand. She’ll rub/pat my belly, pat my chin, touch my nose, pull on my lip, and more. The worst offenders are the touches I’m not comfortable with coming from her and escalate my touched out feelings. These need to stop, and hopefully will resolve my feelings of being touched out: pawing at my mouth (jamming her fingers in my mouth, scratching and pulling on my lips), pinching and rolling the skin of my breasts, shoving her hand into my cleavage, pinching/twiddling my nipple, and anything else like those already listed.

I have no idea why she wants to play with the other nipple while she nurses from but it is driving me crazy! I’m trying to redirect her to stop the unpleasant behaviors but sometimes it is very difficult, especially when she starts to throw a fit. I will cover the other breast and push her hand away, but sometimes she fights back with tugging, pulling, hitting and crying.

I really hope to finish our nursing relationship without the feelings of being touched out, but I’m not sure if that will happen or not. Will they both end at the same time?

Have you ever experienced this?

Darcy Zalewski

Darcy is the founder of “Life With Darcy and Brian,” where she combines her love for education, board games, and crafting to create engaging learning experiences for kids. Her creative projects and writing have been featured in outlets like The Toy Insider, CafeMom, Mom.com, Parents.com, Country Living, and The Pioneer Woman.