Picture this: You are having a fun day with your kids. You post a picture to Instagram and Facebook about it and tweet something silly your child said.
Within minutes there are comments questioning everything from what they are wearing to where you went and goodness how could you feed them THAT?
It used to be that only a small circle of people would know about our parenting choices. There were always prior giving unsolicited advice, but has it gotten out of control with the reach of the internet?
Or… maybe you don’t post much, but you read and see what others are doing. How come your kids can’t make gorgeous crafts like on Pinterest? Are there really modern families cooking and serving 5 course meals every night? Are your kids deprived for not having as many (fancily wrapped) gifts at every holiday and non holiday printed on the calendar?
Do you think being inundated with what everyone is doing (and their opinions) is making parents feel insecure about their choices?
Tell me what you think in the comments and share this post so others can weigh in too.
This post was inspired in part by “Don’t Let Social Media Make You Feel Like a Bad Mom.“
Darcy is the founder of “Life With Darcy and Brian,” where she combines her love for education, board games, and crafting to create engaging learning experiences for kids. Her creative projects and writing have been featured in outlets like The Toy Insider, CafeMom, Mom.com, Parents.com, Country Living, and The Pioneer Woman.
Cathy
Thursday 11th of April 2013
I don't know if social media makes me second guess my parenting. It just makes me mad at other people who are second guessing my parenting. I think social media (and the internet in general) give people the feeling of being anonymous, even though they aren't. Things they would never say to your face get posted as comments online because the computer gives us a sense that we aren't really connected to that person like we would if we were with them in real life.
My solution is just to be very careful what I post and to be very careful with the comments I leave on other's posts. I reread everything I type online whether it is a blog post, a comment or a tweet. If I think someone will be upset over it or construe it the wrong way (because we all know "tone" is not always conveyed well over the internet), then I just delete it. I'd rather keep my opinion to myself than possibly hurt someone else online. (Found your post through Problogger.)
Zweischneid
Wednesday 10th of April 2013
I don't think the phenomenon you describe is particular to social media.
Social pressure/scorn/whatever directed towards parents for allegedly not dressing/feeding/educating their children is as old as humanity.
True, in this day and age, it may come through the channel of social media as opposed to through the channel of village gossip around the central fountain, but the act is not tied to the medium or technology it travels on.
Kathleen Caron
Wednesday 10th of April 2013
You make a really good point, it can be very intimidated and of course there is a lot of bragging that goes on, especially on Facebook. Mostly I find that friends are interested and charmed by the kinds of things I post. I tend not to brag, which I think alot of people find annoying. Tend more towards the "isn't this fun" or "just wanted to let you all in on this thing." Social media should be fun and informative, I don't like when it gets to be a burden.
dona B
Tuesday 9th of April 2013
Ah, parenting and social media. A terrible match. I'm grateful I've never been attacked for anything I've posted online about my parenting or my child (yet) and have found wonderful community and support. But I do fall prey to posting mostly pretty pictures which don't show the true grit and struggle of living with a two-year-old. Even if she is really cute in her glasses.
I just wrote a post about why I do that, which might not be why you'd think: http://www.nurturedmama.net/zen-of-instagram/
Jo (down to eath mother)
Tuesday 9th of April 2013
I try to live a simple, eco-friendly life and have a blog that provides eco tips for busy mums. I'm always posting pictures of my kids frollicking in nature and eating healthy food, playing with the chickens, digging in the garden. What I don't post is pictures of them eating fish fingers because I am too tired to cook or or myself ho-ing into a donut. And forget about pictures of them slumped in front of the TV while mummy cruises around Facebook... So don't feel bad when you see other, better dressed, more creative, more involved families. We all have our moments that are skilfully pushed under the social media rug never to be seen by the outside world!