Just look at that precious face! Photo by Darcy
Did you always want a little girl to dress up or a little boy to carry on the family name? What if you could choose the sex of your baby?
I was reading a post by my friend Jeanne over at The Stir about not wanting another baby unless it was a girl (only one reason of many they haven’t tried for another baby). I know some people feel very strongly about wanting a boy or a girl. Me? Not so much. My husband and I always wanted one of each and we feel blessed that we are getting just that.
Maybe it’s partly because conceiving Rissa took 3 years of tears and trying? I admit I kinda hoped Rissa was a girl, but thought I was having a boy at first and was happy about that. Then I sorta hoped this baby was a girl since we are set on girl clothes and gear, but sorta hoped it was a boy so we’d have our one of each…
I just want babies!
I know others who don’t seem happy having all boys or all girls, but there are plenty of families that are perfectly happy with their clans. Some are insulted when others presume they don’t want a 3rd or 4th boy when they do (or don’t care either way). I don’t know, it’s not something I’ve felt strongly about one way or another.
But Jeanne’s post didn’t bother me – it just made me reflect on our own family. I didn’t get my hackles up until I read about fertility clinics making huge profits off “family balancing” procedures to separate sperm in order to try and guarantee conceiving one sex over the other.
Gender selection intervention? It makes my skin crawl. Wishing and hoping is one thing but people actually consider aborting these babies if they aren’t the sex they want! We aren’t China…(who’s known for desiring boys over girls and getting rid of girls).
And the United States is one of the few countries where gender selection for non-medical purposes is legal. They’ve taken procedures meant to help prevent genetic diseases into a vanity profit business. Want that girl? Just fork over tens of thousands of dollars … though it’s still not guaranteed.
The woman in this article about gender selection at the Huffington Post paid for one of these procedures and cried when it didn’t work. All these families going through heartache over trying to conceive either sex and then there are others who aren’t happy with the number of boys or girls they have so they try to determine the next baby unnaturally.
I’m not saying these are horrible people, but it feels so…wrong to me. I’d say I am more disturbed by medical professions who advertise and perform this service. It feels like they are preying on moms who wish for a little girl or dads that dream about a son.
What are your thoughts on gender selection? Would you do it?
Darcy is the founder of “Life With Darcy and Brian,” where she combines her love for education, board games, and crafting to create engaging learning experiences for kids. Her creative projects and writing have been featured in outlets like The Toy Insider, CafeMom, Mom.com, Parents.com, Country Living, and The Pioneer Woman.
Emily @ My Crazy Gluten Free Life!
Saturday 22nd of September 2012
Because I have 2 boys already IF I had the money or it was a lot more affordable I might do it. I'd really love to have a girl now. I always thought I'd have a boy & a girl. Instead I have 2 boys haha. We keep tossing around & even flirting with the idea of having a 3rd. If we knew it would be a girl I think we'd do it for sure. I'd be sad if it wasn't a girl because IF we had a 3rd he's already said it will be the last. Now that I've been making all these girly things I wish even more that I had a girl. When I was still hoping Kaden was a girl I would have said over my dead body would I put a flower or something in my girl's hair & well the other night Kaden actually had one of my shotgun flowers in his hair haha. If I had a girl she'd be wearing one ALL the time!
I try to stay out of the abortion debate but it really does make me sick to think about the fact that some people do or consider aborting a baby just because it's not the gender that they want. It's really interesting that you brought this up because a friend of mine is in the process of being a gestational surrogate. She thought they were a go for a Taiwanese couple but then they wouldn't agree to her legal documents stating she would not abort a baby for any reason other than medical necessity. Now she's got a new lady that she's going to be a surrogate for but it just blows my mind that these people can't get pregnant so they want to pay someone else to carry their baby for them, yet they are willing to abort a baby if it's not the gender they want. It took us 3yrs to get pregnant the 1st time & then 7 months with fertility testing & drugs the 2nd time. I did cry at 1st when I found out Kaden was a boy but I got over it & I am so happy that he's my baby. I just still want a girl haha.
Darcy
Saturday 22nd of September 2012
Oh wow I can't imagine asking a surrogate to abort for non-medical reasons. I generally try to stay away from talking about abortion too, but yeah, for something like that it makes me sad for sure.
Yeah I can't say if my view would be the same if I already had 2 kids of the same sex...I just don't know. Part of the fun of finding out we were pregnant each time was wondering what it'll be even if I couldn't wait until the birth to find out :)
melissa
Friday 21st of September 2012
well im pregnant currently at 15 weeks and would really really like a girl since we have a boy already but of course i would still be very happy to have a happy healthy baby boy after all it would save on clothes and toys :) If i had the option to choose and still do it the natural way i think i would but not by injecting the sperm in how is that fun! and i dont really have hundreds of thousands lying around either. But if thats what some people want oh well thier choice i would never abort a baby just because it was one sex or another that is wrong on so many levels it makes me sick.
Kari
Friday 21st of September 2012
I would love to have another girl, so if I just had puddles of money lying around (which I totally do NOT) I might go for this. (I would be fine having a boy, I just would love to have another girl.) But since my husband equally wants a little boy, it's better to leave it up to fate to decide- 50-50 seems fair.
Also, it does make me feel sick when people don't want the baby they are having because of their gender. I can understand having a preference, but I don't understand that they aren't just happy enough having a healthy child.
Jeanne
Friday 21st of September 2012
I'm so glad you got your Rissa ... and so glad you've got another one on the way!