14 Lessons in Love I Want My Kids to Know

Over the past 32 years I have been “in love” no less than 50 times. Okay, so maybe that’s an exaggeration, but I’ve had countless crushes, unrequited love from afar and other relationships. My heart must be big because I’ve given many pieces of it away, some returned with varying degrees of damage.

So what can my past relationships teach my daughter (and my son)?

14 Lessons in Love

There are different types of love.
It is okay to date without falling in love, but never mislead the other person.
Love does not equal sex.
Though sex can be a way to express love (but only when you are old enough).
You will get your heart broken at least once before you find your happy ever after.
You will break someone else’s heart – even if you don’t know it.
Love is impossible to describe but impossible to miss when you feel it.
Love develops over time even though you’ll feel suddenly struck by it.
Love is wonderful and awful all at the same time.
The first boy or girl you think you love….you do….in a way, but it’s unlikely to be the kind of love you’ll find and seek as an adult.
Love knows no class boundaries, skin color, or sexual orientation.
You don’t choose it, but you can help guide it.
Bad boys tend to make bad boyfriends. Trust me. I don’t care how hot he is.
Don’t say I Love You in hopes to hear it back. Say it because you mean it.

I’m no relationship expert, but these are some of the things I learned through experience. Some lessons were harder than others. I can’t shelter my kids from dating some day and I know they need to find their own path to love, but they might have questions along the way.

I don’t want to ever dismiss their feelings as simply being puppy love or see them go through dates like they don’t matter until they are X years old.

But if I knew then what I know now … Well let’s just say I wouldn’t have been so loose with my love in several ways.

What lessons in love do you hope to teach your children?

Darcy Zalewski

Darcy is the founder of “Life With Darcy and Brian,” where she combines her love for education, board games, and crafting to create engaging learning experiences for kids. Her creative projects and writing have been featured in outlets like The Toy Insider, CafeMom, Mom.com, Parents.com, Country Living, and The Pioneer Woman.

Amber K

Thursday 7th of February 2013

I love this list. I'm always trying to think of ways to help the kids understand love. You've given me so many ideas for talking points I have to organize them now lol.

Lindsey G

What a great list, Darcy. I think so many young children aren't really taught about love - makes the teenage years a little crazy - don't you think!?

Wednesday 13th of February 2013

Thank you! I think it's one of those things that can be hard to explain and teach but is important to try. I hope my experiences can help someone!

Tazim Damji

I think that #1 is a big one for me - I am just someone who loves a lot of different things and different people (in different ways), but saying that to people makes them uncomfortable. I never say it or think it in order to hear it back.

I think most people focus on romantic love but there's definitely other types of love too. Unfortunately I have said it to hear it while being super insecure :(

Shary

Wednesday 6th of February 2013

These are awesome lessons. I'm sure my mom tried to teach me similar ones, but sometimes you just have to learn on your own and make your own unique mistakes.

You do still have to learn on your own which isn't easy when it comes to emotions like love. It's one thing I think is really hard to prepare our kids for.

Tahlia B.

That list is perfect! I wish I had it when I was growing up - I'm not sure exactly how it could have helped me...it just seems that it could have. Nobody ever explained these things to me so I had to learn them the hard way. It's because of this that I will never dismiss my daughters feelings either.

I wish I'd had this list back then too. I probably still would have made dumb choices about boys but maybe fewer?

Sad part is you know Rissa will think I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm an adult ... Well hopefully she will at least half listen to me!